Aaah Monday bloody Monday. Try and raise a smile, even a grin. Impossible isn’t it; one of the unwritten rules that govern our week. Just ask Naomi Campbell whose managed to get her knickers in a terrible twist about something, ever so upset bless her. Obviously voicing the feelings of a nation I’m sure, finger right on the public pulse that one.
The Times is all about the warnings today, “Britons told to stay away as hurricane hits Jamaica”. What we Brits have done to incur the wrath of Windy Dean remains unclear though he’s made his demands clear so I happily follow suit. The curious among us must wonder the consequences though, or maybe that’s just me. The Times do know best though don’t they so probably best to steer clear.
Bold Lipstick and a pretty skirt do not a paper make says the Guardian, who’ve decided to slap us round the face with bare facts today. “Offshore winds of 145 mph reach land”. Don’t be fooled as I was, into thinking that once ‘offshore winds’ strike land they become just normal ‘wind’ 145mph or otherwise. No no no dear reader, ‘offshore wind’ it seems is a far different beast.
Not sure if it’s totally fair to punish the locals for big Deano’s mess however, who’ve been grounded for 48hrs by a government imposed curfew. Yes they are sorry and no they won’t do it again.
Today’s Telegraph filled its ‘big-word’ quota by page two. One step ahead of everyone else, Grandpa now worries for Mexico as Windy Dean enters the ‘Extremely Dangerous’ category.
And god bless Maradona whose decided to put the record straight over the whole ‘Hand of God’ affair on ‘The Never-ending President’ Chavez’s weekly chat show. “Laughing, Maradona recounted how he urged his Argentina teammates to celebrate with him so the referee would not realise what had happened.”
I still blame Peter Reid.
‘Independent Issue of the Day’ time now as reports flood in that apparently, the war in Iraq is a bad idea. Who’d have thought? An interview with Shia cleric Muqtada al-Sadr makes for a surprisingly comforting read.
“The British have realised that this is not a war they should be fighting or one they can win”
“Senior British military commanders [who] have come to view the mission of UK forces in Iraq as finished”.
Oh and Dom Joly has joined Facebook.
The Daily Mail is worried about Immigrants and the Sun has some breasts on page 3
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