06.09.07

We begin this morning, with the sad news that, whilst perhaps inevitable, still manages to extinguish just a little more hope from the world.

Yes, it has now been confirmed that the B52 bomber sent to fly across America has failed to drop its nuclear arsenal. We heave a heavy sigh………..

The revolution has not materialised.

What’s that you say? No foiled military coup to see here. No radical attempt to right a worldly wrong.

What do you mean it was a mistake? They’re nuclear warheads not head lice; can’t really carry them around unawares now can you.

‘As many as 6 nuclear warheads. Each with a destructive potential almost 10 times that of the Hiroshima bomb, were mistakenly flown across the US’ (Guardian)

Oh, it seems you can.

Of course everyone’s received a severe telling off as expected and ‘US air combat command has suspended all similar operations until September 14’.

What exactly happens on September 14 is still unclear.

It’s difficult to look any further a field than human error as the cause. Mistakes were made, checks missed. End of blame trail.

Apart from Head Boy of course who, never shy to point the finger, has started to wink and nudge a little bit in the general direction of another suspect. All the while whistling the Dam Busters tune.

‘A B52 bomber was mistakenly armed’, ‘the B52 took off’, ‘if the B52 had crashed’…….

‘The B52 was evasive in interrogation’, ‘the B52 has links to a number of terrorist networks’, ‘The B52 is from a broken family, has a god complex, wants to be infamous.’

That’s it Head Boy, say what you really think.

‘Popcorn addicts risk lethal lung condition’. Quick, urges the Independent, phone all your popcorn addict friends to warn them.

The Russian Bears are back, but fear not; Grandpa is up and out of bed. Yes he’s still in his slippers but don’t let that fool you. No time for complicated diction today folks,

‘Tornados scrambled to intercept Russian jets’.

Ever wondered how to stop an asteroid? I know I have. If only……….

‘How to stop an asteroid’. By Grandpa Telegraph.

Almost as if he’s reading my mind.

The Daily Mail is worried about immigrants and the Sun has some breasts on page 3.